


The Mirror Crack'd From Side to Side.

by kiaryai



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Betazoid OC, F/M, Fluff, Kiarya Droi, Kiarya is basically a self insert OC, Slow Burn, maybe some eventual smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24020308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiaryai/pseuds/kiaryai
Summary: Lieutenant Kiarya Droi joins the U.S.S Discovery and begins to fall for the mysterious Captain Gabriel Lorca.
Relationships: Gabriel Lorca | Mirror Gabriel Lorca/Original Female Character(s), Gabriel Lorca/Original Character(s), Gabriel Lorca/Original Female Character
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	1. First Contact.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Star Trek fanfiction (and only my second published fanfic) so please go easy on me! This first chapter is just introducing Kiarya and Lorca so nothing too exciting will happen until a few chapters later. Other characters from the show will also be included but I didn't want to tag them just yet. Basically, I wrote this just for fun so I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (FYI - Kiarya is pronounced the same as Kiara. Also, the title is taken from a line from the "Lady of Shalott" poem in case anyone was interested!)

Kiarya tucked away a stray curl of her long, dark brunette hair behind her ear and looked at herself in the mirror. She stood tall and straightened out her Starfleet uniform, smoothing the creases by gliding her hands over her curves. As soon as she relaxed however, the uniform creased again and she sighed but a smile remained on her lips. The uniforms were never the easiest things to wear but her heart fluttered with joy knowing that she had finally made it through her academy training and she was now a fully graduated Starfleet officer.

Lieutenant Kiarya Droi. Just thinking of her new rank caused Kiarya to chuckle to herself as she continued to get ready for her first day. Her new placement was on board the U.S.S. Discovery, a Starfleet science vessel with a mission so top secret even she didn't know exactly why she was here. But like everyone else at Starfleet Academy, she had heard all the rumours surrounding the mysterious starship. Word has it that Discovery is housing a new weapon which could change the tide in the current fight against the Klingons. But since being on board, Kiarya didn't notice anything of the sort.

She hadn't been on board for long; yesterday had technically been her first day but she and the other new members of the crew were only given the tour of the ship. Today was her first official day which consisted of meeting her new Captain and beginning the task she had been appointed. She was assigned to work alongside a certain Lieutenant Statmets, though she hadn't met him yet, and would be aiding him in his top secret research. But despite all the secrecy, she was looking forward to staring a new chapter in her life.

Once she had finished her makeup and was happy enough with her appearance, she attached her Starfleet badge onto her chest and walked out of her bathroom into the adjoining room. She was given her own quarters; a small room with a double bed and a sofa across from it. It was not the biggest room but it was her own private space and she had placed small trinkets around to make it feel more like home. She had her books from Earth placed on one of the shelves, a vase full of brightly coloured flowers from her home planet, Betazed, on the table in front of the sofa and a holographic photo of her parents which she placed on the small table beside her bed.

The doors to her room opened as she left her quarters, heading straight towards the turbolift at the end of the corridor. She passed other members of the crew and she smiled to them as she walked by, sensing everyone's overall feeling of excitement for the day ahead. She finally reached the turbolift and the doors opened. She stepped in and was met by an alien form much taller than herself, dressed in the same dark blue Starfleet uniform. The alien titled its head at her before breaking out in what Kiarya could only assume was a smile.

"Greetings. I am Commander Saru, the First Officer." He said. Kiarya, feeling quite intimidated, looked into his mind and felt his calmness and his peaceful nature. She sensed that he was a kind-hearted creature, and she instantly took a liking to him.

"Nice to meet you, Commander Saru. My name-" She suddenly remembered her place and took a step forward, straightening herself. "Lieutenant Droi, reporting for duty."

She stood to attention, causing Saru to chuckle at her actions.

"Very good, Lieutenant. But we are not so strict here. Are you on your way to meet with the Captain?"

She relaxed again and nodded her head, standing beside him. He spoke their destination to the computer and the lift began to move.

"The Captain is a most interesting man. He has made quite the name for himself. He's a very fine leader."

"I look forward to meeting him. Commander, can I ask: what species are you?"

"Ah, forgive me. I am Kelpian. The only one of my kind in Starfleet." He proudly exclaimed, running his hand along the back of his large head. "As I understand it, you are a Betazoid, correct?"

"Yes, that's right! There are a few other Betazoids stationed throughout Starfleet at the moment, but as far as I know, I am the only one on this ship."

"Then we have something in common, Droi. We must make sure we represent our species to the very best we can. Ah, here we are."

Kiarya had seen a few starships in her time, but she was not prepared for the sight she was about to behold. Stepping out from the turbolift, she was met with the bridge of the Discovery and she let out a sigh of wonder from the sight before her. The Discovery's technology was far beyond any of the other ships she had seen before, and the bridge was vastly bigger. She wondered past the computer systems and the many screens which were lit up brightly. She then looked over to the front viewer and saw the dazzling purple and sapphire hues of space, the millions of stars shining in the distance. No matter how many times she looked out at the wide open vastness of space, she was always taken by its beauty. Saru placed his hand on her shoulder and led her to the Captain's ready room which adjoined the bridge.

She stood in front of the doors and pressed one of the buttons on the touch-screen panel on the doorframe. She heard the chime from the other side and there was a brief pause before a voice called for her to enter. It was a small room, with a desk in the centre and some computer screens on the walls. The room was dark; the lighting had been changed to a low setting. Kiarya blinked a few times to allow her eyes to adjust to the dimly lit room as she stepped in, walking towards the desk. A tall figure stood before her, shadowed by the lack of light. She stood ready, her hands clasped together behind her back.

"Welcome aboard the Discovery, Lieutenant Droi." He began, speaking in a Southern American drawl. "I'm Captain Gabriel Lorca."

"Thank you, Captain. It's an honour to be here." Kiarya answered, holding her head up high. "I'm looking forward to working with you and your crew. I just hope I can be of good use to you, sir."

"Oh, I'm sure you will be." He said, smiling to himself. His eyes were kept down, scrolling through a small screen on the middle of his desk. "You came highly recommended. Your teachers from Starfleet Academy were practically singing your praises. Forgive the lighting, or lack thereof. Recent battle injury." He waved his hand up to his face and gestured to his eyes.

"On the U.S.S. Buran, right? We all heard about what happened back at the Academy." Kiarya exclaimed, suddenly remembering why the name Lorca sounded so familiar. "For what it's worth, I couldn't imagine how difficult that was for you. It wasn't an easy choice to make."

The Captain furrowed his brows, showcasing that he did not want to discuss it any further so he flashed a quick smile to her. He began to walk around the desk and made his way over to her, carrying a tablet in his hand. "You're a Betazoid?"

"Yes, Captain, that's right." Kiarya stood still as he approached her. He towered over her and she suddenly became aware of his stature.

"Your accent sounds... strange. Were you born on Betazed?" He ran his thumb over the tablet screen and scrolled down.

"I was born there but I was raised on Earth. My accent is a mixture of Betazed and English. My parents were granted leave from Betazed to study at Starfleet Academy and so they brought me along with them." She felt a lump in her throat as her parents came into her mind. There was never a day that passed where she didn't think about them but she still found it difficult to talk about. She took a breath to calm herself before continuing. "Unfortunately they both passed away when I was a child. I was raised in an orphanage for a time before a human foster family brought me up."

"I'm sorry." He said, looking up from the screen. "That must've been difficult for you." She nodded her head and her curls bounced slightly.

"It was hard, at first. My foster family were very kind and I am very grateful for everything they did for me. But I never really felt like I belonged there in that family. It was like I was just forever waiting to go back home, you know?"

"Yes... I know how that feels." He cleared his throat and looked back down at the small screen in his hands. He seemed preoccupied for a moment, so Kiarya took this opportunity to examine him. He was a handsome man, possibly twice her age. His blue eyes glittered in the dim light, something she didn't notice whilst he was stood so far away. There was something about the man that drew her to him. She tried to read his emotions but she found something was blocking her and she couldn't quite focus. She had experienced being unable to read other people before, but usually it was other species. Captain Lorca was different; he was a mystery and Kiarya found herself captivated. Her eyes drifted down to his thin lips which quickly curled up into a smirk.

"Are you reading my thoughts, Lieutenant Droi?" He questioned, placing the tablet down as he leaned back with one arm on the desk. Kiarya felt her cheeks start to blush.

"Oh no, I try not to read anyone's thoughts unless I absolutely have to." She replied. "Although there are moments where it can't be helped."

"And you feel people's emotions too? You're a telepath and an empath?"

"Yes, that's what makes Betazoids different from humans." Kiarya quipped, her lips turning up into a soft smile.

"And your eyes." The Captain suddenly leaned forward and drew closer to Kiarya. He was looking straight into her eyes. Kiarya felt her heart begin to beat faster in her chest and she stood motionless under his gaze. "Pure black pupils. Another defining characteristic of Betazoids. And a very beautiful one at that."

"I- I uh..." Kiarya stumbled on her words as she tried to speak but the Captain was having a profound effect on her. She broke away from his gaze, looking down at the floor. "T-Thank you, Sir."

The Captain chuckled and moved slowly back to the other side of the desk. "Lieutenant Droi, you will be working alongside Lieutenant Stamets. You'll be helping him with his research into the Spore Drive." He exclaimed, reminding Kiarya of her duty and the real reason why she was there in the first place.

"A Spore Drive?" Kiarya asked, tilting her head.

"You'll see soon enough. Stamets will fill you in on all the important details. I want you to keep me personally informed of your progress. I'll want reports by the end of all your shifts. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." She said, standing to attention. The Captain nodded, another smirk across his lips, and then he dismissed her. Unknown to Kiarya as she turned to leave, he kept his gaze upon her until the very last moment when she was finally out of sight as the doors closed behind her.


	2. On Her Mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week after their first meeting, Kiarya struggles to keep Captain Lorca out of her thoughts until he suddenly decides to pay her visit.

The bright lights of the screen in front of Kiarya were beginning to take their toll on her eyes as she gently rubbed her fingers across them to relive the tension building up after a long day's work. A week had passed since her first day on board the Discovery and she was deep into her research of the spore drive. Her work so far had all been inconclusive; each test and trial of attempting a jump had failed and Kiarya, though she was beginning to feel frustrated with her progress, believed that every failed attempt was a step closer to finding the right answer.

Despite the failures, she enjoyed working alongside Lieutenant Stamets. They had a small team assembled along with a young woman, Cadet Sylvia Tilly, who had a very bubbly and quirky personality. Kiarya was beginning to feel more at home on the Discovery, although she spent most of her time working and she avoided socialising during her free time. She believed that being an empath made it harder for her to be around others as she knew some people thought she was invasive for being able to read their feelings but she was developing a good friendship with Stamets and Tilly. However, there was only one person she was desperate to become more acquainted with.

She hadn't seen Captain Lorca since their first encounter. He was always busy heading up missions sent from Starfleet Command and since his place was on the Bridge and hers was in Engineering, their paths never crossed. The only contact she had with him was when she sent reports of her work at the end of her shifts. But Kiarya hoped that she would get to see him again soon. No one else on the Discovery seemed to have made quite an impact on her as much as he had. She could read every other member of the crew but the Captain felt distant to her and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get him out of her mind.

The room was quiet aside from the screen in front of her beeping softly and the gentle hum of the Discovery's impulse engines as it made its way across the galaxy. Stamets and the others had already finished up for the day but Kiarya was still working away on her own. It was way past the end of her shift but she was so wrapped up in her work, she hadn't noticed the time. She also hadn't noticed that the doors had opened and someone was now making their way towards her. In fact, Kiarya didn't even notice she had somehow fallen asleep stood up at her station until a familiar voice snapped her awake. Her body bolted upright and she rubbed her heavy eyes with her hands; her blurred vision suddenly becoming clearer as her gaze fell on the very man who was haunting her thoughts.

"Captain!" She exclaimed. She fell asleep! Oh god, what would he even think? "I... I'm sorry. I was just... I was resting my eyes for a moment."

"No need to be sorry, Lieutenant. We've all done it before." The Captain let out a light chuckle. "I didn't get your report for the day so I wanted to make sure everything was alright down here."

"Oh sorry, the report is right here. I'll send it now." She turned back to her screen and tapped away, sending off her report.

He said nothing more and wandered around the room slowly, clasping his hands behind his back. He stopped in front of the reaction cube in the corner of the room. The Captain stepped up to the glass and stared inside. Kiarya didn't need to sense his feelings to know that there was something troubling him. Closing down her station, she walked over and stood beside him.

"Is there something wrong, sir?" She asked, tilting her head to get a better view of his expression. His features were furrowed but when he heard her voice, his expression relaxed slightly.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't read my emotions, Lieutenant." He replied, coldly.

"It doesn't take a Betazoid to tell when something is wrong with someone, Captain." She smiled softly and shrugged her shoulder. "And if you must know, out of everyone on board this ship, you are the only one I can't quite read."

"Is that so?" He raised a brow at her statement. Kiarya felt her cheeks start to burn up so she quickly changed the subject back to her original question.

"But is there something on your mind? Are you worried about the spore drive? We've been trying as hard as we-"

"I don't think you're trying hard enough." The Captain interrupted with a heavy sigh, crossing his arms. "I've had word from Starfleet that the U.S.S Glenn has already progressed further than we have. If we want any chance of winning this war, we need this spore drive to work. Now."

His annoyed tone shocked Kiarya. She knew the Captain had a reputation for being harsh and strict at times but she hadn't experienced it until just now. Her emotions began to take over her and she snapped back.

"But we've been working hard all week! All our tests so far have failed. We've all tried-" He quickly turned to her with an icy glare. She continued, not allowing herself to feel intimated. "I don't think it's very fair to say we haven't been trying. This is Stamets' life's work and he's doing his best."

"I've already spoken to Stamets about my thoughts on this. If he really cared, he'd have it working by now. I'm sure you don't need me to remind you but we are in the middle of a war, Lieutenant."

"Yes I am aware of that but this is a science vessel, not a war ship. And we aren't soldiers. And we're working with a science that we don't truly understand yet. There's things we have to consider and calculate before we can even begin to-"

He had moved closer to her now, his arms still crossed over his chest. The bright light from the inside of the reaction cube highlighted the colour in his piercing blue eyes as he glared down at her, clenching his jaw. Her own black pupils sparkled in the glowing light as she looked at him. Kiarya was overstepping her mark by talking back to him like this but she couldn't help wanting to defend herself.

"You're new on this ship so I will only say this once. This is my ship. My rules. And you will do what you are ordered to do." He said, through gritted teeth.

As he finished speaking, he began to notice the lack of space between them. His gaze moved rapidly back and forth from her eyes to her lips before he settled on looking straight into her eyes. His chest raised up and down as his breathed deeply.

Kiarya's breath also began to quicken as she stood before him. Her heart pounded in her chest as she desperately tried to read him. There was something in the air between them, something she couldn't quite understand. But she was still blocked from him. She let out a sigh and shook her head slowly, snapping her thoughts back to the present.

"I'm sorry, Captain. We'll do better."

There was a short silence after this. Kiarya half expected him to walk away saying nothing more to her but he didn't move an inch, his gaze was still on her.

"Did you know that you say 'sorry' too much?" He eventually said, his lips curling up into a smirk.

"I guess I do. I'm sorry-" She scrunched up her face as she cringed. Did she really just apologise for apologising so much? But this made the Captain laugh out loud. He unfolded his arms and the tension between them suddenly disappeared.

"You don't have to apologise for everything, Droi." He spoke calmly, the icy glare melted away as he smiled at her. "You'll figure it out. I'm sure of it."

"Thank you, sir." Her cheeks now glowed bright red against her olive skin and she quickly took a step back. "I should probably go and get some sleep, Captain."

"Yes, of course. I'll walk back with you." Kiarya's heart skipped a beat. He gestured to the door at the top of the small set of stairs which led back out to the corridors of the ship. She nodded her head and led the way up the stairs and out of the door.

They walked side by side on their way to her quarters. The ship was making its transition from the day shift to the night shift and many of the crew members they passed were heading straight for their own quarters or to some of the recreational areas of the ship to wind down after a long day. No one seemed to bat an eye that the two of them were walking together but Kiarya still felt exposed, her own heart pounding hard in her chest. Lorca kept his eyes down slightly as the bright lights of the corridor irritated his eyes.

"Have you considered getting your eyes fixed? Surely there must be some sort of procedure that could help." Kiarya asked openly.

"I've been asked that question constantly from almost everyone I know. I was offered it but I've refused it. What happened that day changed everything. This-" He lifted a hand and gestured to his eyes. "This allows me to remember. It makes things difficult but... it's a reminder that I'm here."

"I'm glad you're here." Kiarya suddenly blurted out. She was certain that her whole face was bright red now as she cursed under her breath. Betazoids admire honesty over everything else which meant that occasionally Kiarya would say her honest thoughts out loud. She had done her best to keep that side of her culture controlled since leaving the Academy... until now. "I mean- it's good that you're here. Still here. With Starfleet."

She continued walking alongside him, looking forward to not catch his eyesight. Kiarya couldn't see as she kept her gaze away from him but there was a small grin upon the his face. They carried on in silence for a while until Lorca began to speak.

"What you said earlier... Am I really the only one on this ship you can't read?" He asked, tilting his head towards her. Kiarya lifted her hands up to the ends of her long curly hair and twirled her fingers into the curls, something she did when she was nervous.

"Yes." She replied, taking a moment to clear her throat. "It's happened before but usually its with different species I've never encountered. Not all aliens have the same brain patterns or emotional receptors, so it takes some time to understand how their minds work. But you are... different."

His brows raised in surprise and a soft chuckle escaped his thin lips.

"How am I different?" He questioned. Kiarya found she couldn't help but smile as she responded.

"To be honest, I don't really know how to explain it. When I read people, it's like I can look into them and I instantly know who they are. When I look at you, something blocks me as if there's a wall I can't pass through. You're a mystery to me."

"Well... I look forward to the day you can solve me." He said with a grin across his face. Kiarya slowed her steps as they came across the outside of her room. Kiarya tapped out her code into the panel on the doorframe and watched as the doors slid open. She lifted her face to look at her Captain and she noticed there was a sparkle in his eyes.

"T-Thank you for walking with me." She said, almost in a whisper.

"You're welcome." He looked her up and down, giving her another smile. "Sleep well, Lieutenant."

"Thank you... Captain." And with a quick nod, he turned and walked away.

Kiarya waited for the doors of her room to close before she held her hands to her face, trying to calm herself down. She was certain she had been blushing the entire time he walked beside her. Throwing herself down on to her bed, she let out a long sigh. She had never experienced anything like this before, and she wasn't even sure why. Why the Captain? Sure, he was handsome and incredibly mysterious but she was way out of her depth. There's no way he would ever fall for someone like her. At least, not until she proved herself. A small smile grew across her lips. He had said she wasn't trying hard enough with her work. Well, now she had the perfect motivation. She was going to prove him wrong.


	3. Anticipation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As time passes on board the U.S.S Discovery, Kiarya and Lorca's relationship starts to dwindle until a surprise encounter leads to an unexpected situation.

Kiarya's footsteps were all that could be heard as she walked down the familiar corridors of the Discovery. A few months had now passed since her very first day and there was change in pace on board. More assignments and missions were being given out by Starfleet as the war between the Federation and the Klingons raged on. Discovery was being watched closely by high ranking officers in Starfleet and this was causing tensions to rise within the crew, especially due to the unforeseen appearance of one Michael Burnham, the most wanted criminal in all of Starfleet's history.

Kiarya had her own problems. She had been working hard with Stamets in Engineering collecting the information he managed to save from the U.S.S Glenn before its destruction. The new data showed that Discovery was nowhere near achieving the same results the Glenn was and it was going to take a lot of work to follow up their research. Although her shift for the day was technically over, she had hoped to spend more time studying it all thoroughly but tonight she had been summoned by the Captain to meet him in his private research lab. She wasn't sure exactly what he wanted her for but she knew better than to disobey his orders and she was now on her way to him.

A rift was growing between Kiarya and Lorca; he had been paying more visits to Engineering, checking on the status of the spore drive but during these visits, he barely spoke to her unless it was a question or a negative comment about her work. He seemed occupied by something else, something important, and Kiarya feared that he would only grow more distant from her as time went on.

It didn't take her long to reach his lab and she stood outside. She found it strange that the Captain would have his own lab, especially on one of the lower decks but there was no one else around. He probably enjoyed the chance to be alone from the rest of the crew.

She waited for the doors to open before stepping inside. Captain Lorca was stood with his back to her, swiping through a long wall of text on the screen in front of him. The dark room was fairly large and upon the walls were shelves filled with weapons of different shapes and sizes, some that Kiarya had never seen with her own eyes before, only in the textbooks back at the Academy. In fact the more she walked around the room, the more strange relics she noticed dotted around the lab. There were various skeletons of species she couldn't recognise and small live alien creatures inside cages. It all made her feel uneasy and she hurried over to Lorca who had now turned his attention to her.

"Lieutenant Droi," He greeted her with a nod of his head.

"Captain." She nodded her head in return. Something above her head caught his eye and he lifted up his hand and pointed.

"Long day, Lieutenant?" He grinned. Kiarya patted her hair, wondering what he was referring to and that's when she realised how dishevelled it was. Earlier in the morning she had tied her hair up into a bun to keep it out of her way as she worked. Now that the day was almost over, many of her curls had fallen out from the bun and were hanging loose. A few longer strands framed the front of her face and she quickly tucked them back behind her ears.

"Oh... yes, it's been a busy day." She shifted nervously. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, there's something I want to show you." He gestured to the containment cell at the far end of the room. They walked up to the opening of the cell together. The glowing blue barrier hummed gently as they approached it. "You know about the creature they found on the U.S.S Glenn?"

Kiarya looked at him questioningly and he simply looked forward at the cell. Kiarya had assumed it was empty but suddenly, she heard a quiet chittering noise coming from within.

"Is that the Tardigrade? What is it doing-" Before she could finish her question, the creature screeched loudly and flung itself towards the barrier of the cell. The barrier flickered as its body slammed against it but it didn't break and the creature crawled back into the shadows. Kiarya clutched at her chest as her heart thudded hard from the fright.

"I thought it could be of some benefit to us," He said, seemingly un-phased by the creature's sudden aggressive behaviour. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm assigning Burnham to study it, find out how it managed to take down all those Klingons and remained unharmed."

"Burnham?" She exclaimed, her mouth dropping open in surprise. "Michael Burnham?"

"Do you have a problem with that, Lieutenant?" Lorca kept his gaze on the cell but raised a brow at her objection.

"Of course not, Captain. But... you should know, since she's been on board, the whole crew are on edge. They aren't sure if she can be trusted."

"Well, what do you think? Can she be trusted?"

She thought back to the first time she laid eyes on Michael Burnham, the infamous criminal. She was Starfleet's first mutineer and she was almost single-handedly responsible for the battle which all but started the Klingon war. And now here she was, a new member of their crew. She had the blood of thousands of Starfleet officers on her hands. Yet when Kiarya stumbled upon Michael in the ship's canteen one day, she couldn't help but read her mind and she was surprised by what she uncovered.

"There's a great sadness in her. She relives that day over and over again in her mind," Kiarya explained. "Her vulcan upbringing allows her to suppress her emotions and keep herself distant from them but those same feelings are still there deep down, eating her up inside. But I feel no threat or danger from her. I'm just... pressing caution. For the sake of the crew."

"I see." He clenched his jaw and slowly shook his head. "I don't care what the rest of the crew thinks. We need all the help we can get to win this war, regardless who its from." He gestured back to the cell in front of them. "Now, I need to know what you can tell me about this thing."

"Aye, Captain." Kiarya drew closer to the barrier as quietly as she could.

The creature was hiding in the shadows at the very far end of the cell but Kiarya was able to sense its whereabouts and if she looked close enough, she could see the outline of its large body. She closed her eyes and focused on the alien. In an instant she was overwhelmed as its emotions swept over her. Her body shook and her fingernails dug into her palms as she clenched her fists tightly, trying to keep herself contained. Once she had finished, she stepped back and she swayed on the spot before she steadied herself. A sigh escaped her lips as she disconnected from the creature and she turned once again to her Captain.

"It's frightened," She began. "It doesn't know where it is and it hates being caged like this. It was frightened on the Glenn too. It doesn't want to hurt anyone, it just wants to be free. And for some reason, it's sensitive to bright lights... just like you."

"Just like me..." He muttered under his breath. Turning away from the cell, he made his way back to his station, opening up the screen and typing out something into his notes. "Thank you, Lieutenant. That'll be all."

"Wait, Captain! You aren't going to leave it like this?" Kiarya asked, rushing after him. "It's not just a creature, it's an alien! A lifeform! And Starfleet regulations state-"

"Thank you, Lieutenant," He repeated, his voice now raised as his head snapped in her direction. "That will be all."

"Captain, you have to let it go," She retaliated. Lorca dropped his hands and placed them on the edge of the computer station in front of him. He gripped the edge of the table tightly, his knuckles turning white.

"Lieutenant," He said through gritted teeth. "You are dismissed."

"Yes, Captain." She lowered her head in defeat. It was no use putting up another fight with him, not when she knew he wouldn't listen.

She turned to leave but just before she reached the door, a hand grabbed her wrist and she stopped dead in her tracks. The hand held on tightly as she slowly turned around to see Lorca holding onto her.

"Captain?" She asked, breathlessly. He was looking at her, his harsh features looked softer in the dim light. The brightness of his once cold blue eyes seemed warmer, more inviting and she found herself staring right into them, unable to move under his gaze.

"I was rude to you, just then." He admitted, in a low voice. He stepped closer, closing the gap between them. "It's my turn to say sorry."

"You don't have to apologise to me," Kiarya breathed. Her voice was no more than a hushed whisper but he heard every word. She found she couldn't say anything more and neither could Lorca. Kiarya was certain that if she could read him, she still wouldn't be able to hear his thoughts over her own which were racing through her mind. Her heart pounded hard in her chest, she was certain he must've been able to hear it. She lowered her gaze from his eyes and looked at his lips. They were parted ever so slightly; she could hear his slow breathing even from this distance. She wondered how his lips would feel against her own. A rush went through her body and she let out a gentle sigh. She was desperate to find out, desperate for one of them to make the first move. To fully close the gap between them.

Suddenly she felt the absence of his hand around her wrist and she was snapped out of her thoughts and brought back into the room. Lorca's lips curled up into a gentle smile.

"You're dismissed, Lieutenant." He said, lifting up his hand to move the stray long curl which had fallen in front of her face again and as he tucked it behind her ear, he gently brushed his hand against her cheek. A shiver went through her spine as she felt the roughness of his fingers against her own soft, olive skin. He lowered his hand and turned away from her, heading back towards his station.

She remained still for a moment, still feeling his touch on her cheek before she finally left the room, with a wide smile upon her lips.

* * *

Kiarya winced as she downed the entire contents of the glass in her hand. It stung the back of her throat and she coughed lightly as she placed the glass in front of Stamets, signalling for a refill.

She had never been a big fan of parties, she had only been to a few during her time at the Academy but after being invited to attend a double birthday celebration of two members of the crew, she thought it might be worth giving it a try and see if maybe this time she could have some fun. She was wrong. The music blasted out loudly as the flashing lights strobed along with the thumping beats. She wouldn't have minded it so much if she wasn't nursing a terrible headache she had from the long day she had worked.

The room was full with people she didn't know very well, but she could sense their all thoughts and there was too much going on for her to be able to concentrate. She decided to focus upon Stamets who was on the other side of the bar. He had been in high spirits all night, finally happy to be able to spend some time with a certain Dr Hugh Culber. Seeing her friend feeling this happy and lively was a joy to Kiarya who was feeling a little under the weather herself. Stamets let out a cheer as he held up a half-filled, rectangular shaped bottle and took off the cap.

"What exactly is this drink, Stamets?" Kiarya asked, her head swaying forward slightly. She had already drunk quite a few shots of this strange liquid without even questioning what it was.

"It's uh.... Well it's called..." He held up the bottle in his hand, squinting at the alien writing on the label. He shrugged and began to pour it into Kiarya's glass and one for himself. "It's green."

Kiarya nodded in agreement. He was certainly right; the liquid was a bright neon green and Kiarya downed the glass yet again as soon as he filled it. She slammed it down onto the bar and breathed out trying to calm the stinging sensation she felt in her throat. Stamets finished drinking his own glass before he leaned over the bar and pointed his finger at Kiarya.

"Now, Lieutenant Droi... tell me. Why are you here drinking your sorrows away here when you could be over there dancing with that handsome gentleman who keeps eyeing you up?" He questioned, gesturing to the tall crewman who had indeed been staring at her for most of the night. Kiarya glanced over to him, struggling to look at him through her blurred vision. He was handsome enough, with striking blond hair and bright emerald eyes and a jaw that could cut through glass. But she quickly turned back to Stamets with a grimace upon her face.

"You're much better company. I can read his thoughts from here... Trust me, he wants to do a lot more than just dance with me."

"Then why don't you go and have some fun? You deserve it, after all the hard work we've done this week. Go and have a dance!"

Kiarya shook her head, her long curls swaying from side to side.

"I don't want to dance with him. I want to dance with-" She stopped herself. Her hand gripped her glass tightly. She tried to keep him out of her thoughts but no matter how hard she tried, he always crept back in. Why was she wasting her time thinking about him? He certainly wasn't thinking about her. She took another look at the crewman who had been staring at her. Here was someone who was actually showing some interest in her. But she felt no interest in him. There was only man who she wanted. She shook her head again, trying to force him out of her mind.

"Actually, I think I've had enough excitement for tonight. I'm going to bed." She stood up from the stool and steadied herself by holding on the side of the bar. She took a moment to allow her spinning vision to settle and then smoothed down her navy blue velvet dress. She tugged at her long sleeves, making sure they were pulled down to her wrist and she waved her hand absentmindedly at Stamets.

"Be careful, Kiarya." He chuckled as he watched her stumble past the crowd of people dancing in the centre of the room. She reached the door at the end of the room and walked out. The stark difference in the lighting of the dark blue tinted party lights to the bright, white lights of the corridor caused her to cover her eyes from the brightness. _So, this is how Lorca must feel._

She cursed under her breath. Ever since that moment in his lab, he was all she could think about. From the moment she woke to the very moment she would fall asleep. He was constantly haunting her. But she knew that she was barely even a passing thought in his mind. As she stumbled through the corridor back to her cabin, she lifted her hand and touched her cheek where his fingers had brushed against her skin. She could still feel his touch.

Kiarya quickly glanced around her and noticed that she couldn't remember where she was. _Every one of these bloody corridors looks the same_ , she thought. _How the hell am I supposed to get back?_ Her head spun as she turned around and she suddenly lunged forward, grabbing onto the first thing she could find. Whatever she grabbed onto was sturdy and also... squishy? She looked up and stared straight into the face of Captain Lorca. She quickly let go of his arm and bolted upright. She could feel her cheeks begin to burn up.

"Captain!" She exclaimed. "Sir! Oh, I- I didn't see you- I didn't know you were here. There. I didn't-"

"I think you've been having a little too much fun, Lieutenant," He chuckled, holding out his arm and allowing her to grab it again.

"Not really. Not fun. It... wasn't fun..." She mumbled as she clutched at his sleeve, her vision slowly becoming blurry again. Lorca noticed she was losing focus so he pulled her close to him.

"Are you alright?" He asked, examining her flushed face. She blinked a few times to steady her vision but everything still looked blurry to her.

"I'm fine! Perfectly fine..." She started to giggle at nothing in particular but this only made Lorca let out a loud laugh.

"Come on, Droi. Let's get you back to your cabin." He wrapped his arm across her back and lifted her other arm over his shoulder.

She couldn't focus on her surroundings as he began to move her, she wasn't even sure which direction they were headed. But she could feel his body pressed against hers and his hand upon her back. He was strong and solid to lean against. She stopped giggling as she became aware that this was the closest she had ever been to him. Using her free arm, she lifted her hand up to his chest and clutched at his uniform, clinging onto him as tightly as she could. She didn't want this moment to end but they quickly reached her cabin and entered the room together.

Lorca said something out loud but she didn't listen; her pounding heartbeat was the only thing she could hear. She still held onto him tightly, knowing that he would pull away from her at any second. And to her disappointment, he pulled his arms away and walked across her room. She stumbled over to her bed and slumped down on the end of it, kicking off her black ballet flats.

She ran her fingers over her forehead and through her long curls, hoping to relieve some of the pressure from the sudden headache she just became aware of. Her eyes closed and she could still feel her vision spinning. But when she opened her eyes, she saw Lorca walk out from her bathroom with a small glass of water in his hands.

"Here, this might help." He offered the glass to her but as she went to grab it, her hand shook terribly.

He knelt down before her and gently placed his hand under her chin, lifting up her face to meet his. He held the tip of the glass to her lips. The glass was cold as it touched her skin and she took a big gulp of the cool water. It felt refreshing as she drank it all down. Lorca pulled the glass away once it was empty, his hand still holding up her chin.

"How are you feeling now?" He asked, his brows furrowed.

"I'm fine... I'm-" She stopped, losing herself in his sparkling eyes.

At some point when they entered the room together, Lorca must've dimmed down the lights to his usual settings. Kiarya hadn't noticed it. She also hadn't noticed how handsome he looked tonight. He was dressed in his usual Starfleet attire but there was something different about him. Perhaps it was the drink or perhaps it was something else, but Kiarya found herself more attracted to him than ever before. She leaned forward towards him but he didn't move or flinch at this approach, instead he stared back into her own eyes.

The room was completely silent, as if time itself was standing still. In this moment, all of the other hundreds of crew members on board this ship didn't exist. The millions of planets and alien civilisations that filled this expansive galaxy didn't even exist. As far as Kiarya was concerned, all that mattered right now, was the two of them together in this room.

Then something happened which made her heart almost leap out of her chest. For a brief moment, he let down his guard and she could finally read him. She sensed his desire, his deep need to take her into his arms and kiss her. He was holding back, arguing with himself but just as quickly as she read his thoughts, the feelings disappeared and he was closed off from her once more.

"There it is again. That wall you put up." She frowned, lowering her head.

"What do you mean?" He spoke in a low whisper, keeping his hand under her to chin so she couldn't look away from him.

"That's why I can't read you. You block me from reading your thoughts." Her hand trembled as she reached out for him, her fingers lingering inches away from his face. "Why? Why do you push me away?"

"I..." Lorca leaned into her and her hand cupped his cheek.

Her soft fingers gently stroked his rough cheek. His lips were almost touching her own. She could feel his breath upon her skin. Her whole body tensed up as she anxiously waited for him to make the first move. Her eyes closed and she held her breath as his lips slowly brushed against hers-

"Bridge to the Captain!" Saru's voice broke through the painful silence. Lorca pulled away but Kiarya's hand dropped down from his face and grabbed onto his chest, pulling at his uniform. Her lower lip quivered and her eyes pleaded him not to turn away but he jumped up and walked over to the computer screen beside the door.

"Yes, Mr Saru?" He grunted, clearing his throat. Kiarya didn't pay attention to what was said; she remained on the edge of her bed, her hands gripping onto her knees tightly, scrunching up the velvet material of her dress. Her cheeks were burning hot and she took deep breaths in order to calm herself down. A flurry of emotions were swarming through her and her heart sunk in to the very pit of her stomach but she noticed Lorca was still in her room so she stood up and straightened herself out.

"I'm on my way." Lorca finished up the call and slowly stepped towards her. "Duty calls."

She said nothing out of fear that she would make a bigger fool of herself. He brought his hand up and placed it under her chin once more. Her eyes glistened as they welled up with tears and he stroked her chin softly with his thumb.

"Good-night, Kiarya." He lent down, and planted a tender kiss upon her cheek. His lips brushed against her skin and he lingered for a moment but he finally pulled away from her. A smirk grew across his face before he turned and left the room.

Kiarya stood completely still in the middle of her room. She placed her hands on her chest which heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath.

What the hell just happened?


	4. Choose Your Pain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After attending a meeting with Admiral Cornwell, Kiarya and Lorca were on their way back to the U.S.S Discovery but get captured by the Klingons and are taken to a prison vessel where they encounter a notorious criminal, Harry Mudd and experience the wrath of the Klingons firsthand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell by the title and summary, I based this chapter of the 'Choose Your Pain' episode from Discovery Season 1. It's my favourite episode and I wanted to insert Kiarya into it for some good ol' angst. Next chapter will continue the rest of the episode but I didn't want to make this chapter too long. I hope you enjoy!

Tapping away on the tablet in her hand, Kiarya let out a stifled yawn and leant back against her seat. Captain Lorca, herself and one other member of the crew were currently on board a shuttle that was making its way back to the Discovery after Lorca had been summoned to a meeting between himself and a few other high-ranking Starfleet officers, including a certain Admiral Cornwell, an old friend of Lorca's.

The meeting finished a few hours ago; whatever it was about was never disclosed to Kiarya but she was allowed to take a tour of the Spacedock. She enjoyed the opportunity as it wasn't often that she had the chance to leave her usual surroundings and it allowed her to take her mind off her work for a little while. But there was still something else on her mind. Or rather, someone else.

She couldn't quite understand why Lorca requested for her to come along with him, considering that she wasn't invited and her rank was certainly not high enough for her to be involved in any way. She had been working hard in Engineering all morning until Lorca turned up out of the blue and asked her to join him. She was tempted to decline, to find some excuse, some made up story about how the spore drive was in need of repair but she knew she couldn't say no to him.

Aside from the usual greetings and orders he gave out, he had barely said a word to her for most of the day, even during the very rare moments when they were completely alone. There had been no mention of what happened between them a few nights ago in her cabin. Kiarya was almost certain she had dreamt the entire thing. He seemed unphased when he was around her yet Kiarya could hardly contain herself. She would blush at the slightest mention of his name, her heart would race whenever she heard his voice over the comm and she would do all she could to avoid him, and yet despite this awkward tension between them, the Captain still personally asked her to accompany him. She decided to let it go; whatever the Captain's reasons were for bringing her along where his own reasons and she knew that she would never truly understand his motives.

Placing the tablet down beside her, she glanced over to Lorca. He had been discussing something with the pilot and was leant over the pilot's chair. It had been a while since she had looked at him, truly looked at him. Not just her usual quick glance whilst running past him in the corridors. But now she had some time to examine his features and she found that she couldn't take her eyes off him. He was still just as handsome as ever and the light from the nebula outside the main window of the shuttle highlighted certain details of his body. Orange hues bounced off the bright blue of his uniform, the tightness of the material showed off his toned muscles in his arm as he used it to lean against the pilot's seat. Her gaze followed down the arm and stopped on his hand, the same hand that had been against her own skin a few nights ago. She could still feel his fingers brushing against her skin and then slipping under her chin where he held her face and kissed her cheek softly. Her breath caught in her throat as she relived the memory in her mind. His body straightened up and he gave the pilot a pat on his shoulder. Kiarya quickly looked away as he came towards her, unaware she had been watching him intently.

The Captain took his place in the seat beside her and a heavy sigh escaped his lips as he dragged his hands up and down his thighs to relieve some of his frustration. Whatever had happened in the meeting had certainly upset him. Kiarya's lips parted, considering whether she should break the silence first. She decided against it and lowered her head, her long dark curls falling in front of her face. She lifted a hand to tuck one of the curls behind her ear but in doing so, she brushed her arm against Lorca and his head slowly turned in her direction. She suddenly sat up now that his attention was on her and she felt her cheeks already burning up under his gaze.

"How did the meeting go, Captain?" She asked, breathlessly, trying to ignore the feeling of his strong arm pressing against her. He scoffed and shook his head slowly, looking back down at his hands which were now clenched into tight fists.

"Oh, it was just fine." The bluntness of his tone proved this statement to be false. But he said nothing more. Kiarya thought it would be best not to push him whilst he was in this mood. Instead she settled on sitting beside him in silence for the rest of the trip home. Lorca, however, had other ideas.

"Can I ask you something, Lieutenant?" He suddenly asked, that usual charming smirk across his thin lips. Kiarya lifted a brow.

"Yes, of course, Captain." Her heart began to thud loudly in her chest. "What's on your mind?"

He took a deep breath; his broad chest rose up as he inhaled and down again when he exhaled. He unclenched his fists and shifted his body to face her.

"What's your opinion of me? I know you can't read my mind but... I want you to evaluate me." Kiarya was taken aback. She studied his face but his expression showed her he was serious.

"You... want me to evaluate you?" She questioned. He playfully shrugged as his smile grew bigger.

"After that tedious lecture I just had from Cornwell, I'd like to hear someone else's opinion of me. Someone I actually respect." Her mouth dropped open in utter surprise.

"Me? You respect me?" She pointed to herself, her eyebrows raised in an exaggerated manner. "Me? The woman who can't even find her own tricorder on a good day?"

He let out a hearty laugh. Kiarya couldn't help but smile along with him. She had never seen him act this way and she could feel her heart swell with joy. It was strange to her that she couldn't share in his feelings, that his mind was still closed off from her. But the small moments where she could see him truly express his emotions, were moments she was beginning to truly cherish.

"Come on, Lieutenant. Just humour me." His smile faded and he stared at her, awaiting her response.

Her mind began to race, unsure of how she should answer. The betazoid side of her would speak honestly, but that was exactly what she was afraid of. She thought carefully, choosing the right words to ensure she would not make a fool of herself. Taking a sharp intake of breath, she clasped her hands together and rested them upon her lap.

"Well, you are very strong – both physically and mentally. You know what needs to be done and you do it, regardless of the consequences. You're a good Captain but you can be strict and ruthless, sometimes even cruel. You don't always follow protocol but you wouldn't exactly be the first Captain to disobey Starfleet." She bit her lip before continuing. "You're very secretive. Even to those closest to you. Saru has told me he thinks you're a fine captain but he doesn't know you all that well. Actually, many of the crew have mixed feelings about you. They don't know if they can trust you."

He nodded his head slowly as she spoke. There was an expression on his face that she couldn't quite make out, almost as if he knew exactly what she was going to say. Nothing seemed to spark a reaction in him. Instead he simply sat in silence for a moment before moving closer to her. His hand lingered dangerously close to hers.

"And what about you, Lieutenant?" He lowered his voice, as if not to let the pilot overhear them. "Do you trust me?"

His icy gaze softened as he looked at her and she found herself lost in them. Her heart was hammering hard against her chest.

"I..."

*** WARNING. INCOMING WARP SIGNATURE DETECTED. ***

The wailing alarm from the computer suddenly caught their attention and their heads snapped in the direction of the shuttle's main viewer. There wasn't even time for the pilot to load up the details of the incoming ship before a bright, neon green light engulfed the entire shuttle.

*** KLINGON CLASS D7 BATTLE CRUISER IDENTIFIED. TRACTOR BEAM ENGAGED. ***

Lorca was up on his feet in an instant, rushing over the phaser locker across from him. Kiarya and the pilot followed in tow. Lorca tossed a phaser rifle to the pilot and another to Kiarya before taking one himself. In a swift motion, he set the rifle to stun and moved into the dark corner of the shuttle, just before the opening of the doors. He gestured with a nod of his head over to the other corner and Kiarya rushed to follow his order. The pilot remained in the centre; his rifle pointed directly at the doors.

The lights flickered out and now they were stood in complete darkness, aside from the flashing lights of the tractor beam surrounding them. The shuttle rocked terribly as the beam brought them closer into the Klingon ship above them. Then there was a loud CLANK and the shuttle came to a halt. It grew quiet and all Kiarya could hear was her pulse beating loudly in her ears and the sound of the pilot's staggered breathing. There was no sound from Lorca - he was calm, his hands firmly gripping onto the rifle in his hands. Kiarya's own hands trembled but she bit her lip, taking a deep breath and remembering her academy training.

The doors suddenly opened and Kiarya and Lorca both leaned forward and blasted back the approaching Klingons. Just behind them, the emergency hatch on the roof was forced open and a Klingon dropped down into the shuttle. He headed straight for the pilot whilst Kiarya and Lorca were focused on the main doors. They dispatched two Klingons coming forwards but the rifles were set on stun and this only temporarily knocked the Klingons back.

There was another loud crash and Lorca spun around only to be faced with another Klingon who had dropped down from the hatch. The Klingon grabbed the rifle from Lorca's hands and pulled it out of his grip. Lorca reacted quickly, striking his foe in the face with his right fist and then again with his left. Kiarya turned back with her rifle and aimed it at the Klingon attacking Lorca but before she could take her shot, a larger Klingon, dressed all in white, pushed her way through the doors. She grabbed the rifle straight out of Kiarya's hands and tossed it on the ground. Kiarya let out a yell as she attempted to throw a punch at the Klingon but she was too weak and the Klingon simply swung her arm and knocked Kiarya backwards. Her head smashed against the wall of the shuttle as she fell into it.

For a moment, her vision became blurred and her hearing was muffled. She stumbled to her feet but as soon as she regained her footing, she was held up by a strong clawed hand around her throat and slammed her back against the wall. The hand completely wrapped itself around the whole of her throat. As her vision began to clear, she saw Lorca also being held up against the other side of the shuttle, desperately trying to break free from the Klingon's grip but even Lorca was not strong enough.

Her eyes searched the rest of the shuttle looking for the pilot but she couldn't see him through the darkness. Instead she focused in on his mind and she sensed that he was being held down by the Klingons. She could feel his fear and his discomfort from his injuries but then, there was a sharp pain that coursed throughout his whole body and a horrific cry escaped his lips. Then he fell silent and all his thoughts and feelings were gone. The emptiness overwhelmed Kiarya and her eyes welled up with tears. She immediately knew what had happened and her heart sank as the Klingons pulled their weapon out of his body, his blood dripping off the blade and onto the floor.

The Klingon dressed in white barked orders in their native tongue and Lorca was forced out of the shuttle, their weapons aimed at his head. The Klingon holding Kiarya tightened its grip and she clasped at the hands around her throat, unable to breath. She kicked her feet out, desperate for a gasp of air but it was no use. Her eyes slowly began to close and her hands dropped to her sides as the air in her lungs slowly escaped her body.

* * *

"Lieutenant, get up."

A voice aroused Kiarya awake and she blinked her eyes open rapidly, trying to adjust her vision to the dim lighted room. Her cheek was pressed against the cold metal floor and her body was lying flat upon the ground. Her head ached terribly and her throat felt coarse and dry. She groaned weakly as she tried to push herself up but she struggled to find the strength to move.

"Lieutenant?" The voice spoke again. A strong hand placed itself on her shoulder, shaking her body. Kiarya knew that she recognised that southern drawl and she tilted her head upwards. Her Captain was stood over her, his brows furrowed in worry. He held out his hand in front of her face.

"C-Captain?" Her voice croaked. She felt relieved to see him alive and in one piece. "Kiarya..." He said, this time in a softer and more gentle tone. "Let's get you up."

She placed her hand into his and with very little effort, he pulled her up onto her feet. Lorca looked just as distressed as she felt. His usually tidy hair was now untidy and his uniform jacket had been unzipped. Kiarya looked down at herself and noticed her jacket was also now open, her black vest top underneath was slightly dirty from where she had laid on the ground. She ran a hand through her curls and discovered that her hairband had fallen out at some point and now all her curls were hanging loose around her head. She pushed them back away from her face and pulled her hair up into a high ponytail.

"Where are we?" She asked, examining the surroundings. The dark walls and the low ceiling made the room feel enclosed and small, reminding her of a cell.

"This, my dear, is a Klingon prison vessel," a strange voice replied. Kiarya followed the sound and was met with a humanoid man who was heavily bearded. His hands were adorned with many large rings which he twirled with his fingers as he spoke. "As I was just telling your Captain here."

"Who is he?" Kiarya turned back to Lorca, who was stood beside her. He was doubled over and clutching one side of his chest, hissing as he stood taller.

"His name is Mudd," Lorca answered, through gritted teeth.

"Harcourt Fenton Mudd. Just because we're in a prison doesn't mean we can't still be civilised." The man walked towards Kiarya and held out his hand to her. She grimaced at him, shifting a step closer to Lorca.

"Don't trust him," Kiarya said abruptly. She barely needed to dive deep into his mind to understand what kind of person he truly was. She could tell straight away. Mudd threw up his hands and scoffed aloud.

"Now, now. That's no way to treat a new friend." He was all smiles but Kiarya rolled her eyes.

A sudden low groaning filled the room and they all turned towards a Starfleet officer on the floor across from them. He was a young man but not a crew member of the Discovery. From his unkempt hair and unshaven face, it was clear he had been here for a long time. He was curled up against one of the pillars in the room, groaning loudly as he clutched his stomach. It was obvious from his visible injuries that the man had been tortured and beaten terribly. Kiarya tried to avoid reading his mind but his pain was too great and his emotions began to overtake her own. She pressed a hand against her stomach as if to stop the internal bleeding which wasn't truly there, just in her mind as she shared the thoughts of the young man. Lorca limped across the room towards the solider until Mudd stopped him.

"Oh, I wouldn't bother with him, Captain," Mudd said, waving his hand nonchalantly. "I believe the technical term for his condition is... 'out to lunch'."

Lorca opened his mouth ready to argue with Mudd when the doors to the cell opened and two Klingon guards entered the room. Lorca immediately straightened himself, readying to put up another fight but Mudd shook his head at him.

"Here comes the floor show." He muttered under his breath, slowly raising his hands up into the air. The two Klingons stood before him. They were both armed. Kiarya lifted her hands up, keeping a watch on the Klingons but also trying to push the pain of the injured man out of her mind.

"Choose your pain," The Klingon growled, baring his sharp teeth. Mudd glanced over to Lorca, who was visibly confused by what was going on. Kiarya's heart skipped a beat. Her body tensed up as she awaited Mudd's answer.

Slowly, Mudd extended his index finger and pointed past Lorca, towards the man on the floor. Kiarya took a step forward to intervene but the other Klingon aimed his weapon at her. Lorca quickly pushed her back behind him, his hands now also raised. Kiarya couldn't believe her eyes as all three of them watched the Klingon moved towards the man and mercilessly beat him with only his fists. With each punch, Kiarya could feel the sting as if she herself were being hit and her eyes stung with tears until she closed them shut, unable to watch anymore of the horrific sight before her.

The Klingon tossed the man up and threw him against the wall. His feet stomped loudly as he dragged the poor man's bloodied body across the room. Kiarya's curiosity overcame her and she opened her eyes. His body was spread on the floor, completely still. Yet she could still feel life in him, although it was a weak like the last burning embers of a dying flame. The Klingon seemed to have finished his job as he turned to them, a hideous grin on his face. But to their shock, he spun around and smashed his large boot into the skull of the man, his neck cracking loudly in the now silent room. Kiarya clapped her hands over her eyes as the same emptiness she felt from the pilot's death in the shuttle began to rush through her again.

The Klingons dragged the prisoner's now lifeless body away and the doors shut behind them. Lorca stood in shock by what he had just witnessed. He clenched his jaw trying to figure out his anger, frustration and pure confusion that was now overwhelming him. Kiarya dropped her hands away from her face and breathed deeply. She stepped closer to Lorca, something about being near him made her feel safer. His arms were hanging by his sides and without thinking, she slipped her hand into his. He was shocked by this and his head snapped to look at her, but he didn’t pull away. Instead he saw her watery eyes and intertwined his fingers with hers, tightly squeezing her hand in reassurance. She flashed him a small smile, silently thanking him.

Mudd noticed this display and chuckled quietly to himself. He wandered around the cell, examining the fresh blood stains upon the floor and twirled the end of his moustache with his fingers.

"They may look stupid, our Klingon hosts. They're anything but." He walked slowly to the door of the cell, looking out at the small opening. "They regularly give us the choice to choose our pain. We can accept the beating ourselves, or pass it on to our cellmates. It's our captors' way of keeping us from bonding."

"You seem conspicuously free from bruises." Lorca exclaimed, shooting Mudd a glare.

"I've learnt how to choose wisely." Mudd's mouth formed a wide grin. Kiarya looked at him in disgust. He shook his head, stepping closer towards them.

"Don't judge. You're gonna want to stick with me. I'm a survivor." He stood before Lorca, looking straight into his eyes. "Just... like... you."

Lorca looked away from Mudd, his nostrils flaring as he tried to calm himself down. Kiarya found herself staring at the small pool of blood upon the spot where the young man was sat. She tried hard to sense him again, refusing to accept that he was gone. But she knew the feeling of the emptiness inside her all too well. She had felt it before as a young child when her parents had died.

She tried to imagine what his life was like before being captured here. He wasn't that much younger than Kiarya. He may have only been in Starfleet for a few years, excited to discover new planets and learn about the unknown. Now he was gone.

A dark thought crept into Kiarya's mind, sending a chill down her spine.

She was going to die here.


	5. The Empath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now captured by the Klingons, Lorca and Kiarya meet Ash Tyler and desperately try to plan their escape but L'Rell, the Captain of the Klingon vessel, has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait since the last chapter, I will try my best to post more! Again, this fic is based on the 'Choose Your Pain' episode, but with some extra scenes I came up with myself. I hope you enjoy! :D

The incessant droning of Mudd's loud snoring reverberated around the walls of the cell. His pet insect, Stuart, resting snugly on top of his chest, chirped in sync with the snores. Mudd was sound asleep and surprisingly, Kiarya was grateful for the noise. The cries of the other unfortunate prisoners echoed throughout the vessel. Mudd's snoring helped to drown out their screams and allowed Kiarya to focus on more important matters.

She stood in front of the cell door, examining it carefully. The door itself was sturdy and made of a thick metal she couldn't identify. There was no way to force it open and the surrounding doorframe was completely solid. She tried to pry the panels off the wall with her bare hands, chipping her fingernails in the process. She pulled and clawed away but it was no use. If only she had her tricorder, she might have been able to hack into the door system from this side.

She thought back to her academy training, racking her brain for the anything she could remember from the many holodeck simulations and training sessions she took part in but her head ached and her thoughts were too fast for her own mind to keep up with. Sighing heavily, she turned around and headed back towards Captain Lorca who was sat upon the floor on the opposite side of the cell.

He had finished talking to another Starfleet officer in their cell; a young human man named Lieutenant Ash Tyler. He revealed that he was captured during the Battle of the Binary Stars, amongst other members of his crew. He was unaware that he had been held here for over 7 months, but he explained that Klingon Captain had taken a strange liking to him which was why he had managed to survive this long.

Kiarya slumped down onto the floor beside Lorca. The musty air in the room was thick and beads of sweat began to form on her forehead. She wiped them away with the back of her hand and pushed back some of the loose curls that were falling from her ponytail. She took a moment to examine the situation. There was no way to break out, no way to force the door open. It could be hours before Discovery could find them, maybe even days. The only solution left was to fight their way out but they were outnumbered and un-armed.

She wasn't even sure if she could do it. She felt exhausted already. But there was one thing she knew she had to do. She was determined to do whatever she could to keep Lorca alive. Regardless of her personal feelings towards him, he was her Captain, first and foremost. Her duty was to him and to the Discovery.

"Droi," Lorca said, suddenly catching her attention. "How are you holdin' up?"

"I'm alright. My head hurts pretty bad. I'll get Dr Culber to take a look at it, if we ever get back." Kiarya rubbed the side of her head. She felt a small lump under her hair and winced as her fingers brushed over it.

"And the voices?" He asked, lowering his head towards her.

"I've managed to block out their pain, but I'm either feeling their torture or hearing them go through it. I can't tell which is worse."

"Don't worry, we'll get out of here soon. As soon as Discovery jumps into Klingon space, they can-"

"Captain," Kiarya blurted out, interrupting Lorca mid sentence. He raised his brows in surprise. She bit her lip, afraid of what she was about to say. But she knew their time was short so she continued. "When the time comes, when they ask you to choose your pain... You have to pick me."

"Lieutenant, don't --" He began to protest but Kiarya held up her hand to stop him.

"Please. It's only logical. I'm the lowest ranked officer and I'm also the weakest out of everyone in here."

"You should leave logic to the vulcans, Droi." Lorca shifted nervously. "Besides, you can take care of yourself."

"But if anything happens to you, I can't... I won't..." Her voice trailed off. She waited a moment. "I won't last long without you, sir. It has to be me."

"Droi--"

The cell door opened and the two Klingon guards returned, this time armed with bigger weapons. Everyone got up onto their feet as they entered the cell. The Klingons' eyes scanned the room and they stepped forward. They both stopped just in front of Lorca and Kiarya. One of them held out their large hand and pointed his clawed finger directly at her.

"You." That was all that the Klingon growled out. Lorca instantly leapt in-between the guard and Kiarya but she placed a hand on his arm and shook her head at him. This is what she had been talking about. She knew they would come for her eventually, and she knew this was her chance to buy Lorca and the others some time. He looked at her, with a desperation in his eyes that she had never seen upon his face before. He did not want her to go, but this was not his decision. She knew what awaited her, and though she was absolutely terrified, she stepped out in front of the Klingons.

The larger one let out a loud roar and grabbed her by her ponytail, yanking her head down. He pulled at her hair and Kiarya cried out. Lorca moved to intervene but the other Klingon pushed him back. She heard his body slam into the wall behind her and then Tyler rushed over from across the room. There was another scuffle and then SLAM- his body hit the wall too.

Kiarya forced her head up from under the Klingon's grip and took one last look at her Captain before she might never have another chance. The Klingons took their leave and pulled her along with them, out of the door and into the corridor.

She heard the cell door close shut and the guards kept her head down as they walked, making sure she was unable to see her surroundings. Kiarya tried to raise her head up as best as she could, in the hopes of being able to memorise the layout in case she made it out of whatever was going to happen next. But she saw nothing through her disorientated vision.

The screams of the other prisoners were louder now that she was directly walking past their cells. The swishing sounds of doors opening cut through the cries and she focused back on her current situation. They had led her to a room, similar in appearance to their cell but much smaller and with dried blood splattered upon the walls. In the middle of the room was a table with straps for a prisoner's hands and feet. Kiarya felt her stomach drop upon seeing this awful sight.

The guards began to force her onto the table but she tried with all her might to fight back. She kicked out and swung her arms but the Klingons were barely phased. They each grabbed one of her arms and with ease, they lifted her up and pushed her down onto the table. Kiarya felt the coldness of the metal surface on her back through the material of her uniform. She squirmed and attempted to wriggle her way free from their grasp but they were quick to fasten the straps to her wrists and ankles. Soon she was tied down and unable to break free. Still she tried, and she thrashed around as much as she could but she was so tired and her whole body began to ache terribly.

She stopped and laid there, now completely defeated. The two guards howled with laughter as they left the room, leaving her on her own. There was only one light in the room and it was hung directly above her, shining brightly into her eyes. There was small apparatus beside her, covered by a cloth but Kiarya could still make out the objects hidden underneath. She was to be tortured, like the other prisoners on board.

Her breath began to quicken as she started to panic. Her black pupils darted across the room, desperate to find something, anything, that could be useful. But then the doors reopened and a familiar face waltzed into the room. It was the Klingon Captain, L'Rell, dressed all in white and with a smile across her dark lips. She walked around the room a few times, saying nothing but she examined Kiarya closely. Eventually she stopped and stood beside her.

"Lieutenant Kiarya Droi," L'Rell began, speaking clearly and slowly in her deep, thick Klingon accent. "Science officer of the U.S.S. Discovery."

Kiarya clenched her hands into fists, trying to keep herself calm as her heart began to pound hard in her chest.

"Do you know who I am?" L'Rell asked, tilting her head to look upon Kiarya's face.

"I know exactly who you are," Kiarya hissed, trying to push her head back against the table to keep her distance from L'Rell. "Tyler told us all about you. And the pain hidden inside his mind tells me so much more."

"Ah, so you are a Betazoid! You can read minds and even communicate with others telepathically, correct?" L'Rell grinned down at Kiarya, baring her sharp teeth. "We may find a good use for someone like you."

"I'll never help you. Not ever!"

"You'll have no choice in the matter." She brushed one of Kiarya's curls behind her ear. Kiarya flinched and gritted her teeth from her touch. L'Rell chuckled. "However, you will tell me all you know about your little starship. How it can disappear and reappear. Moving around undetectable... Like a ghost."

Kiarya's forehead creased and her brows furrowed. Not too long ago, she had heard Lorca say the same thing about the Discovery to Tyler. How could L'Rell have known? Perhaps it was a coincidence, or perhaps...

"I won't tell you anything." Kiarya said, her breathing becoming staggered. Suddenly, an idea popped into her mind. "Not unless you agree to spare my Captain. Let him go. Let him and Tyler go... and I'll tell you whatever it is that you want to know."

L'Rell seemed surprised by Kiarya's offer. She toyed with her sharp clawed fingers, contemplating an answer. Kiarya could hear her pulse beating in her ears and her heart pounded hard in her chest. She awaited L'Rell's answer, hoping she would fall for the bait.

Kiarya was lying, of course. She wouldn't tell L'Rell anything about the Discovery or the Spore Drive. But if her captain could be spared, that was all that mattered. Unfortunately, L'Rell saw through the plan immediately. She slammed her hand down onto the table, inches away from Kiarya's face.

"NO!" She growled, before returning to a calmer deposition. "No. Your Captain is much too valuable. And any information we can't get out of you, I'm sure we can get out of him."

"He won't give in to you," Kiarya spat, her nostrils flaring. Her temper had been tested and she felt rage begin to flow through her veins. "And neither will I. We'd rather die!"

"That could be arranged. Not until you've been dealt your pain first." L'Rell drew back the cloth from the apparatus beside them and revealed a small silver metal tray. There were various tools upon the tray, each covered in dried blood. Kiarya tried once more to break free from the straps across her wrists but it still was no use. L'Rell let out a cackle as she watched Kiarya struggle.

"Oh, these aren't for you. I have something different planned for you, empath." L'Rell picked up only one object from the tray. It was a small remote that was connected to something in the room. L'Rell lifted a finger and pointed up to the corner of the ceiling. Kiarya's gaze landed upon a sight that she had failed to notice. In the corner of the room was a large speaker, and Kiarya knew immediately what was about to happen.

She threw herself up into the air in her desperation and began to flail her arms in the hopes of breaking free, but L'Rell held her body down. She reached under the table and pulled another strap over Kiarya's body and secured it tightly. Kiarya was now completely unable to move. L'Rell held up the remote in her hands, that same grin across her face.

"Please... Please, don't," Kiarya begged, her eyes already welling up with tears. L'Rell said nothing and simply pressed down on the remote.

All the screams and cries from every single prisoner on board the ship began to play through the speaker. All of their hurt and trauma flowed through Kiarya's entire being. Her mouth flew open and she let out a blood curling scream as a monumental pain coursed within her. Her entire body shook and she could feel every thing that was happening to each of the poor souls. One prisoner was being beaten and Kiarya could feel the punches and the fresh bruises upon her skin. Another was being starved and she could sense their empty stomach and her throat became bone dry but still she screamed and cried out in tremendous agony. Her mind was flooded by a hundred thoughts; so many that she could barely tell which were her own.

Time itself seemed to drag on and on. Each moment more agonising that the last. She tried to remember her techniques on closing her mind and shutting everything out, but she could hardly focus. Her hands were clenched tightly into fists, her knuckles bare white and her nails dug deep into her skin, blood dripping down her palms. But then suddenly, an image flashed into her mind. The last memory she had of her parents. She saw herself as a child, being held in her parents arms. For that brief moment, she managed to focus on that image and all the pain seemed to fade. But it was only for a moment. As soon as it was over, the pain continued but Kiarya now understood what she needed to do.

She racked her mind for anything comforting she could remember: a memory, a song, the taste of her favourite food - whatever would give her pause, and would help dull the pain. Her thoughts appeared like flashes. One moment she was back in her room on the Discovery, then she was a teenager at home on Earth with her foster family. Then the pain would start again.

FLASH - her parents kissing her goodnight. FLASH - Stamets giving her a warm hug and telling a joke to make her laugh. FLASH - her first encounter with Lorca in his ready room. FLASH - Lorca helping her get back to her room after the party. FLASH - Lorca's hands holding her own. FLASH - Lorca's lips brushing against her cheek.

Lorca.

_Lorca._

She did it. She closed off her mind. The pain faded and everything around her grew quiet. She couldn't hear the speaker nor could she see L'Rell watching her from the corner of the room. Kiarya's screams had stopped, and her throat felt coarse and her lips were dry. The last of her tears fell down her flushed cheeks. She relaxed her hands, her fingernails and palms were bloodied and numb. She closed her heavy eyelids. There was only one word on her mind before she fell unconscious:

_"Imzadi."_

* * *

Kiarya awoke with a heavy head and a clouded mind. She blinked her eyes rapidly to clear her blurred version and immediately recognised the view of the ceiling she was staring at. She was back in their cell. She lifted her head up but was met with a searing throbbing and she dropped back down onto the hard ground.

"Ouch," She whined, hoping to alert whoever was nearby. She heard some commotion and the sound of footsteps coming towards her. She waited to see Lorca standing over her but instead she was met with the heavily bearded face of Harry Mudd, who was grinning from cheek to cheek. She groaned as he drew nearer. "Oh, no, not you."

"Why, that's no way to greet a friend, is it?" He said, holding out a hand. She reluctantly took it and with his aid, she was pulled up into a sitting position. Her hand quickly pulled away from him and she clasped it against her face, pressing her fingers into her skin hoping to take away some of the tension. Mudd stepped back as Tyler appeared, kneeling down in front of her.

"Glad to see you're still with us. Are you alright?" He asked her, examining her body for any signs of injury.

"No," Kiarya replied, quite bluntly. She hissed as she stretched upright and looked around the room. "Where's Captain Lorca?"

"The Klingons came back and took him."

"What?! How long have I been out?"

"Hard to say. You were unconscious when they brought you back."

"And your beloved Captain never left your side," Mudd chimed in, strolling up and down. "He seemed to be quite worried about you. We all heard your screaming. I thought he was going to tear the door with his bare hands. When the guards dropped you in, we were certain you were dead. But Lorca was watching over you. At least, until they dragged him away."

A mixture of emotions hit Kiarya. She couldn't help herself but smile at the thought of Lorca being so concerned for her, but she also felt her rage building up inside her, knowing that what she went through was for nothing. Now her Captain had been taken.

"You and Lorca seem to be very close for a Captain and his Lieutenant," Mudd smirked. Kiarya dropped her hand from her face and glared at him with her dark eyes. "You're not even his First Officer. Is that type of fraternising even allowed in Starfleet?"

"Come on, Mudd," Tyler pleaded, trying to ease the tension growing between the two of them. "Leave her alone. She's been through enough."

"I'm only asking a question, Tyler, there's no harm in that." Mudd sat down and twirled the end of his moustache.

"No, he's right, Tyler. There's no harm in him asking a question," Kiarya said, stumbling up onto her feet. "In fact... he knows all about avoiding harm. Isn't that right, Mudd?"

Kiarya's sudden change in tone wiped the grin right off of Mudd's face. He slowly held up his hands.

"Now... hold on, sweetheart," He stuttered out as Kiarya moved towards him. She was much smaller than Mudd but she was not afraid. She leant forwards, placing one hand upon the wall behind him so she was as close as she dared get.

"I could read your mind like an open book, Mudd. But I won't. It goes against what I stand for," Kiarya growled through her gritted teeth. "Unlike you, I have morals. But every person has their limits."

Mudd gulped loudly as she leaned in closer, her eyes staring right into his.

"Tell me, Mudd: why are you sitting here as healthy as the day you were dragged in here when so many others are suffering needlessly? What kind of influence do you have over the Klingons that they won't even lay a finger on you?"

Mudd fumbled around nervously, stumbling over his words. When just in the nick of time, the door opened. Kiarya spun around until she froze in place as Captain Lorca was pushed into the room. The door swished shut as he doubled over and covered his face with his hands, groaning loudly.

"Captain!" She gasped aloud and rushed towards him. To her surprise, he pushed straight past her and headed directly for Mudd who was already up on his feet.

"Now let's be adults and use our words, please--" Mudd was interrupted as Lorca used what was left of his strength to push Mudd back down onto his seat. Kiarya and Tyler watched on as Lorca grabbed whatever was in Mudd's hands and turned around to face them. It was Mudd's pet insect, Stuart. It squealed in Lorca's hands as he pulled a small device off its back.

"Stealing food was just a diversion." Lorca moved forward and held up the device in his fingers. "He's been transmitting everything we say to the enemy."

Tyler and Kiarya looked at the device and then they both shot a glare at Mudd, who was now stood beside them.

"When I first got here, I dropped a little conversational nugget to see if either of you could be trusted, and I just had my words parroted back at me by the Klingon captain. You've been feeding intel on every prisoner that passed through here."

Lorca threw the insect across the room with a great force and it bounced against the wall. Mudd cried out after his pet and rushed over to pick him up. The insect screeched from the pain and didn't stop until Mudd held him in his hands. 

"You almost killed him!" Mudd cried, before being suddenly silenced by Tyler who grabbed him by his throat and held him up against the wall. Kiarya used this moment to turn to Lorca and she let out a sigh of relief that he was still alive. His face was bruised and blood dripped from a cut upon his lip. He kept wincing from a stinging in his eyes. They knew about his eyes. Kiarya figured that's how they hurt him, the same way that they used her weakness against her.

"You're finished. And when it's time to choose our pain, we're choosing you. Until there's nothing left." Tyler slammed Mudd into the wall once more and then released him from his grip. Mudd let out a sigh and straightened out his clothes. 

"Captain, are you really gonna let this idealistic young man and this naïve young woman humiliate themselves by siding with you?" Mudd questioned. "Have you no decency, Lorca?"

Kiarya rolled her eyes at Mudd but Lorca's expression gave her cause for concern.

"Actually, that was a trick question. I know you don't." Mudd popped Stuart back into the pocket of his maroon shirt. "We both know you lost that with your last command."

"What's he talking about?" She asked.

"The tragic tale of the U.S.S. Buran." Mudd answered for him.

The room fell silent. Kiarya kept her eyes on Lorca. His demeanour changed; his rage for Mudd vanished and instead he looked upon him with pleading eyes. Kiarya knew what this meant. He didn't want Mudd to reveal whatever secret he knew.

Kiarya knew a little about what happened to the Buran from her days at the Academy. Although the truth was never revealed to the public. Kiarya tried to look into Lorca's eyes but he couldn't bare to look at her and so he turned away.

"It was ambushed about a month into the war," Mudd began. "The Klingons boarded it and blasted it into smithereens. Only one crewman managed to escape." He lifted his hand and pointed. "Gabriel Lorca. Apparently, the honourable captain was too good to go down with his ship."

All eyes were now on Lorca. He took a breath and puffed out his chest, turning to address them.

"Mudd's only half right. We were ambushed, and I did escape. But I didn't let my crew die. I blew them up. I knew what awaited them on Qo'noS. Degradation. Torture. Slow, public death. It's the Klingon way to spread terror." He stood before Kiarya. "Not my crew. Not on my watch."

Kiarya stared at her Captain, a man she knew that she would never truly know. How many more secrets did he keep from her? How much more blood was stained on his hands?

"Well, they say confession is good for the soul. Too bad none of us have one anymore." Mudd walked away from the scene, moving back to his spot across the cell. Tyler also walked away, turning his back from them. Kiarya remained, standing next to Lorca.

He stared down to her, as her black pupils glistened in the dim light. Kiarya let out a long sigh. She was exhausted and her head was starting to ache again. She decided that enough was enough and she reached out for his arm, wrapping her hand around his wrist. In a hushed voice, she whispered:

"I don't care what you did in the past. What matters is what you have learnt from it. I trust you." She smiled softly. "Now... tell me that you've got a plan to get us the hell out of here."

Lorca was taken aback by her words. He chuckled lightly, clutching at his side where his ribs still ached. His thin lips curled up into a smirk.

"Oh, I've got a plan."


End file.
